Man Meats Boy
by LeBestCrossOverFan
Summary: Bible Man and Super Meat Boy team up to stop the Dr. Fetus from evil.
1. Chapter 1

Man Meats Boy

Miles Peterson was a man with many strengths. He kept his word, he did his taxes on time, he made a killer grilled cheese sandwich and he knew how to get on Jesus's good side. If he had one weakness, it would be that he loved God too much. WAY too much.

Coats, otherwise called Coats, was as loyal as a dead dog. He loved God too, but not as much as Miles. Coats and Miles spent many years together, loving God. On one fateful day, they were praying for the children to stop doing their crazy drugs when a portal opened up in the middle of the BibleCave. A man made of meat appeared, otherwise known as Super Meat Boy, and began his greetings with the expletive.

"Oy! Either o' you two porkies seen my girlfriend?" Asked Super Meat Boy, his non-lips spewing bits of raw meat as he spoke.

"What she look like?" Asked Coats, with lust in his eyes.

"Is she a woman of Jesus?" Asked Miles, speaking with the authoritative power of God Himself.

"What're you two lambchops blabbin' about? She's made of bandages!" Super Meat Boy yelled with meatitude.

Miles and Coats broke into song and dance, singing about doing the time warp again. After doing that, they asked Super Meat Boy what he thinks happened to his girlfriend.

"She got took, yo. You beefcakes know about Doctor Fetus?"

The beefcakes did know about Doctor Fetus, in fact, they just didn't know about it yet. Years later, in an alternate dimension, Doctor Fetus would mature into the evil Doctor Fear, and will share many epic battles with our heroes.

Miles was furious. "Who does this Doctor Fetus think he is, kidnapping is a sin against God!" Miles was furious.

"Dawg, we got yo' back, Meat. Miles, get yo' digs on and lets turn it loose!" Coach was channeling the essence of the ghetto. Growing up on the streets, Coatchs learned a lot about life, love, and the Bible.

Miles turned to the computer. "Sword of Justice! Helmet of Faith! Chainmail of Love! Power Gloves! Jesus vest! Pants of – " Miles's voice was cut off as Super Meat Boy spoke out of line.

"How long does this normally go on for?" Super Meat Boy questioned, with meaty vigor.

After that, all was quiet in the BibleCave. An aura of darkness grew. Miles, now Bibleman, was furious. "You don't interrupt my intro sequence! Now I'm wearing no pants!"

Bibleman was wearing no pants, but they didn't have enough time to fix that. They sped off in the Biblemobile to stop the evil Doctor Fetus.


	2. Chapter 2

Miles stared at the tiny gelatinous glob of C-grade sirloin cut steak. The meat stared back with its round lumpy meat-eyes which shimmered in the lamp-light like uncrushed kosher peppercorns.

"Who- what are you meat-man?" asked Miles.

The meat creature opened its mouth and bared its thirty two meat-teeth at him, a smile.

"I am the savior of the worls, the guardian of the children and lover of all" the meat-thing said boastfully, grinnignong form meat-ear to meat-ear, "I am Super Meat Boy! And I am here to save the day!"

The school children all laughed and cheered for Super Meat Boy. Dr. Fetus snarled.

"YOU CAANNOT STOP ME MEAT BOY, NO POWER IN THIS REALM CAN STOP ME FROM STEALING ALL THE BABIES AND DOING ALL MANNER OF EVIL AND DEVIOUS STUFF IN THE UNIVERSE1!" exclaimed Dr. Fetus pungently.

"I do not care about the babies" said Super Meat Boy coolly, his meat-brows pushing together to form the folds of his meat-frown, "I want you to give back my girlfriend!"

Dr. Fetus' smile grew to a massive canyon of a smile, a smile so massive and malicious that nothing could have possibly rivaled it ever. He circled Super Meat Boy, glaring with his tiny underdeveloped eyes through his massive and meticulously polished monocle, an eyewear device invented to magnify objects to a user's dominant eye, never once blinking or wavering in his menacing glare of infinite hatred which burned through Super Meat Boy's meat-face with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.

All the while, Miles slipped out the back of the crowded school gymnasium into a broom closet, being careful not to draw the attention of the hundreds of children or the attention of the massive aborted-sin-against-all-that-is-holy-and-righteous beast of a monster before him. Miles closed the door to the claustrophobic and musty broom closet. It smelled of Clorox and urinal cakes from years gone by. He pulled out his secret remote control and pressed its single massive purple button. A section of the wall lifted swiftly to reveal a secret tunnel, a tunnel leading to Miles' secret base.

You see, Miles was no ordinary man—he was in reality the world's premier crime fighting Evangelical preacher, Bibleman! By the power of the Lord and Savior, Bibleman can and will purge any evildoers to kingdom come.

Back at the gymnasium, Dr. Fetus continued to stare down Super Meat Boy, their eyes locked in a mental battle of the wits. A single meat-sweat drop dripped down the side of Super Meat Boy's meat-face. The schoolchildren watched with fear and excitement as the staredown continued.

Back in the secret lair of Bibleman, Miles suited up in his holy armor and equipped his divine sword. He brought up his e-phone on his supercomputer and called his best friend, Coats. He would know how to deal with the beast in the gymnasium.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Super Meat Boy ran into the room surprised at the things around him. He looked up at BibleMan who was there teaching the kids. Coats was there too. Biblegirl reached over and kissed her friend Coats who said

"Not in front of the children" Coats said with anger.

BibleGirl looked said but knew their love must remain quiet.

Super Meat Boy looked at BibleMan's gang and jumped.

"BibleMan! Dr. Fetus is planning to attack today! We must hurry and stop him!"

"The Bible says abortion is wrong! We must stop Dr. Fetus from stealing all the children like your girlfriend Super Meat boy" Bibleman said with exclamation.

"We must kill him!" Super Meat Boy yelled.

"No!" BibleMan exclaimed. "We cannot kill him for Matthew 19:18 'And Jesus replied: 'You must not murder. You must not commit adultery. You must not steal. You must not testify falsely."

"That's right" Coats said "Luke 6:32 says 'If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.'. We got to love Dr. Fetus."

Suddenly an explosion heard from the gym echoed in the hall. Dr. Fetus appeared wearing his top hat and holding the girlfriend of Super Meat Boy in his hands.

"Haha! I will stop you BibleMan and Super Meat Boy!" Dr. Fetus yelled as he pointed at BibleMan and Super Meat Boy.

BibleMan pulled out his laser sword and did an action flip. Super Meat Boy jumped into the sky and bounced off a wall. He avoided a spike trap and made his way over across the gym where Dr. Fetus stood.

"Stop right there foul beast! BibleMan will make sure you do not steal the children and Super Meat Boy will help!" Coats yelled. Biblegirl agreed and once again kissed her friend coats who said

"Not in front of the children" Coats said with anger.

The battle fought as BibleMan and Super Meat Boy jumped around and fought the bad guy Dr. Fetus who kept throwing spike traps at them. Suddenly Dr. Fetus pulled them into alternate universe where the world was like the GameBoy. GameBoy BibleMan and GameBoy Super Meat Boy looked at each other in horror!

"oh God!" GameBoy Super Meat Boy said.

"Don't say that" GameBoy Bible Man said. "For Exodus 20:7 says 'You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.'"

GameBoy Super Meat Boy felt bad for this and said sorry to GameBoy Bible Man.

They jumped over platforms and fire and BibleMan used his lightsaber to break a wall and get to Dr. Fetus.

"Dr. Fetus! The Bible says we can't murder you but we demand you to stop in the name of love!John 3:16 says 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.'" and Dr. Fetus shed tear.

"You're right. God loves all of us and we love each other in real inside." Dr. Fetus said with tear in eyes.

He handed Super Meat Boy's girlfriend back and took them to normal world with Coats and BibleGirl.

Biblegirl jumped up and hugged Bibleman.

"Good job hero!" Biblegirl said.

The kids cheered and Super Meat Boy and Super Meat Boy's girlfriend went back to their home on the planet with the scary face.

The end.


End file.
